Wedding Wednesday: Pinterest feature

Here's one of my favorite dresses from my wedding Pinterest board. :)

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Tidbit Tuesday: A tear-worthy tidbit

Instead of posting something of my own this week, I want to share a couple poignant lines from Bharati Mukherjee's famous short story The Management of Grief. I read this for class last semester and again this semester for my Forms of Fiction class. This story slays me. Absolutely kills me. I wont' spoil anything by explaining the quote. Either you know it from the story and you'll weep with me or it'll peak your interest and you'll go read it. 

"Then as I stood in the path looking north to Queen's Park and west to the university, I heard the voices of my family one last time. Your time has come, they said. Go be brave." 

Love, 

M

Musical Monday: Take Me Home, Country Roads

About a year ago I went to work with Ben (he's a barista) with the intention of writing a whole short story during his shift before we went back home. I was in the sort of writing mood which required music but I was tired of everything I had a playlist for so I went looking for something new. Spotify suggested John Denver based on my previous musical choices. I had heard Rocky Mountain High before because my Arabic grandfather is the biggest country music lover I know. 

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I started with the Best Hits album. Take Me Home, Country Roads was the first track and I was instantly in love. I wrote the whole short story that afternoon listening to that album  -- particularly to that song -- and watching my man at work. The lyrics to the song struck me and invoked that nostalgia that comes whenever I think of home. 

So last night, Ben and I were sitting in my living room after he'd gotten off work. It had been a bit of a stressful day and we didn't feel like doing or watching anything. Ben pulled up his Spotify and started playing that song from my playlist. Hearing that song made me super happy because I hadn't heard it in a long time and it reminded me of when I wrote a short story while sitting with Ben at work. 

Love,

M

Selfie Saturday: The Importance of Being Earnest

The more time I spend with people my own age, the more I see how sarcasm is becoming a universal language that everyone loves to be fluent in.

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 "Nah, just kidding", or some variation, seems to follow 75% of the conversation I hear these days. I've seen some almost-nasty arguments break out because the person on the receiving end of a sarcastic remark wasn't aware that the other person was 'just kidding.' On the surface, sarcasm doesn't seem like a big deal and maybe for some people it isn't. But I want to take a look at the antithesis of sarcasm and figure out why we don't use it as much as sarcasm and how being earnest makes you and the people around you happier and more fulfilled. 

*disclaimer: I am a sarcasm junkie. I have no room to preach at anybody. This post is for you just as much as it is for me.*

Three reasons why we shy away from being earnest

1. We're ill-equipped to handle the task of being earnest

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Let me paint a situation with which most of us are familiar. You're in some sort of group setting (a class, a meeting, a family gathering) and as conversation progresses, somebody admits or is all of a sudden made aware of some really sad news. 

And they start crying. 

*crickets* 

You internally start panicking because you have no idea what to do or say.  The presence of true emotion tends to make the majority of us - myself included - majorly uncomfortable. I think the reason for this is because we're all so engrossed in our own biting sarcasm (which, at its core, makes a farce of genuine human feelings) that we're not socially equipped to deal with a person who needs an earnest, loving response as opposed to an insincere, sarcastic one. I attribute this social ineptness partly to the prevalence of sarcasm in our culture. 

2. Saying too much in earnest can get you labeled as 'too sensitive' 

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I've definitely felt the pressure of choosing a sarcastic remark over an earnest one because there's always that one person who I know will make some sort of (probably sarcastic) comment about how I'm being a sissy. Women who express earnestness in their conversation are told to get ahold themselves and men are told they're acting like emotional chicks. 

*I could go into a much longer rant about the problem of women being classified as 'too sensitive,' but that's a post for another day*

Why are we afraid of being sensitive? When did being a sensitive, earnest person become a bad thing, for either sex? I think a lot of us think speaking in earnest makes others see us as emotionally weak and to that I say this: When you needed a sincere listener and an understanding spirit to hear you out when you were hurting, did you think your comforter (if you were lucky enough to have one) was being an oversensitive sissy by speaking kindly to you? 

3. Sarcasm is easier

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Let's be honest. When faced with a situation where sarcasm or earnestness are our options, most of the time it's easier to be sarcastic than to communicate in earnest. Putting your true feelings into words can be hard and make you feel uncomfortably vulnerable but when you consider the good it can do to others, you may be surprised by how much better you feel in the long run. Don't take the easy way out. Communicate in earnest. 

Three reasons why we should be more earnest

1. It improves your emotional health
I can speak to this personally. Sarcasm is a technique I often employ in conversation, but I've been learning how much it leaves me feeling awkward and unsure of my communication skills. If I use sarcasm in a conversation with Ben or with a coworker, I walk away from the conversation hoping that I didn't offend anyone or wondering if that person knew I wasn't being serious. It messes with my head and makes me reevaluate my motivations behind choosing sarcasm instead of earnestness. I've found that being honest and genuine in communication is good for the head and for the soul.

2. It strengthens your empathy
I think the closest trait the human race has gotten to superpower is empathy. Empathy is taking on the feelings of another person (regardless of whether or not you yourself have experienced that exact emotion) and feeling it as though it were on you. The ability to have empathy means you can see where others are coming from and understand them better. Using sarcasm severs the bond of mutual feelings when used toward another person. Because if John Doe comes to me with a situation that is upsetting him, and my reaction is a sarcastic comment, I've broken the trust that he once had to confide in me. He now knows better than to expect an earnest response from me. Being able to relate to one another is a gift and I believe using earnestness instead of sarcasm strengthens our empathy. Which means we'll be able to help and understand people better.

3. It improves your relationships with others

The world needs more people who can clearly communicate their true feelings because, honestly, those who can master earnestness in everyday matters are the best listeners, friends, parents, managers, employees, etc. Being able to speak to others without reverting to sarcasm lets them know you are considering whatever the subject may be with a genuine spirit, not with a biting attitude which essentially seeks to strip a situation of its emotional importance. I promise, speaking in earnest will beget a healthier, happier relationship with anyone. I know it's really hard to be intentionally less sarcastic (trust me, you're speaking to Queen Sarcasm), but your effort will make a lot of difference.

So, in short:

Be genuine.
 Limit sarcasm.
 And love people in earnest. 

Fashion Friday: Florals

Here's the outfit I wore on Sunday! :)

Dress: Target for $25
Boots: Target for $30

I love the floral print of this dress! It's not so overwhelmingly springy flower-y, but it's a great transition piece from winter to spring. Makes me happy. :) 

Thankful Thursday: Time

Today's post will be short and simple. I'm thankful for extra time. Today I got up early and was able to get all my homework done before 9AM (Thanks, Jesus) and thankfully had a decent amount of time to do the kind of writing I want to do. Being in school full time and working almost ~30-35 hours a week has left me ragged, tired, and always short a few hours of what I need to get everything done. So, today I'm thankful that there was time before the day started to work on my own writing projects. 

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Love,

M

Wedding Wednesday: Intro to dress silhouettes

Have you ever attended a wedding and thought that the bride's dress is absolutely perfect for her? I know I have, so today (or tonight, as it were) I'm going highlight the six basic wedding dress silhouettes and tell you which body types they best flatter. 

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1. A-line 

The a-line wedding dress is a very traditional look and, in my opinion, this silhouette flatters essentially every body type. An a-line dress will cinch at your natural waist and create a flattering hourglass shape by flowing away from the body. Girls who are, how to put this delicately, well-endowed upstairs should be cautious when looking at particular a-lines, because some (not all!) of them tend to be more fitted in the bust area. A lot of girls opt for the a-line because it is beautiful, yet simple. 

2. Trumpet/Mermaid

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The trumpet silhouette seems to be really popular these days and, if you ask me, it takes a very brave girl to choose it for her wedding day simple because of how fitted it is in the tummy, hips, and butt. This silhouette is very fitted from the bust all the way down to the knees where it flares out dramatically to look like a mermaid (or trumpet). The trumpet silhouette looks best on tall women or women with a defined hourglass shape.

3. Sheath 

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Ahh, sheath. My worst enemy. ;) The sheath silhouette is a foxy style, straight-down dress which is fitted from shoulder to ankle. This dress looks best on tall or short women who are fairly straight down or who have a defined hourglass shape. 

4. Ball Gown 

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The ball gown silhouette - or Disney Princess look, as I call it, is an attention-grabbing, Cinderella-esque sort of dress which can be very hard or very easy to pull off. A ball gown silhouette will be fitted in the bodice and then sort of explode into an array of lace and beans and glass slipper confetti after the waist. It looks good on tall girls who are more bottom heavy than top. Shorter girls with fairly proportional bodies (that is, the top half of their body is somewhat proportional to the bottom half of their body) have the tendency to become lost in this sort of dress. 

5. Short 

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Short dresses are not quite a silhouette but I really wanted to touch on them because they seem to be gaining more and more popularity as vintage clothing has become a bigger trend recently. Short wedding dresses can be absolutely fitting, but be careful and think about whether or not a short dress will fit your wedding. For instance, if your groom is in a full tux with tails, and the venue is in a swanky country club and your guests were given the option of tilapia or filet mignon, a short dress may not fit your wedding's style. Now, of course, it is your wedding and you get to do whatever you want, but I've found that shorter dresses tend to look best in less formal ceremonies (i.e., outside, small church, summery reception). Short dresses can be flattering to all body shapes and can be as short as the knee or go as long as your calves. Short dresses are sometimes more appealing to the women who really want to show off their shoes. 

6. Empire

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The empire waist is a tricky silhouette to pull off. It cinches right below the bust and is then straight the rest of the way down. It looks good on distinctly large or small women, but if you're somewhere in the middle, you risk looking heavier than you actually are. If you happened to be around for the "babydoll" shirts craze and hated the way they made you look as though you were carrying a baby, the empire waist may not be for you. 

There you have it. The six basic wedding dress silhouettes. Now, here's my spiel: If you are shopping for a wedding dress, do NOT limit yourself to one type of silhouette simply because you think you don't have the right body shape. A lot of the times, when we analyze what face or body shape we have, we're totally wrong! For the longest time, I though I had a heart-shaped face (because that's what I thought I saw when I looked in the mirror) and I would choose my haircuts and hairstyles based on that. I voiced what I thought my face shape was to my stylist one day and she told me that I actually have an oval-shaped face. 

All that to say, don't be afraid to try on different silhouettes because not all bodies are the same and even though you might technically be hourglass shaped, you might could still totally rock a sheath silhouette. You never know until you try!

I hope this little intro to wedding dresses was helpful! 

Til next time!

M

Tidbit Tuesday: The Cats

I was going to share this poem last Tuesday, but I decided to do a tribute to Shirley Temple out of respect for her passing on. So, here is the poem I wrote last week for my poetry class. The assignment was to write a sad Valentine's Day poem and this is the best I could do.

The Cats

We're not quite sure what could have caused this

All we know, for now, is a strange lack of kitty biscuits

Marlena, our owner, has been all out of sorts

The source of the problem, by our estimation, is a man named Schwartz

Now, don't get us wrong, Marlena is lovely and nice

She gives us the noms of catnip and mice

But we are her babies. The only ones allowed

To see her in cold creams and makeupless shroud

This dude that's called Schwartz is a problem, indeed

Mittens, our scout, says they're doing the deed

This is all kinds of crazy, we will not stand

To be rejected and replaced by some smelly man

It's high time we take action against our foe

So away to the closets and small places we go

To assert our territory, and leave our mark

And dear old Schwartz won't know til he's stepped in it...in the dark

Schwartz may be nice, but to us he's only a hassle

We are the cats the mighty the kings of the castle

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Love,

M

Musical Monday: Evening Sun

 I recently discovered an artist named Jon Bryant. I'm in love with his album called What Takes You. Listening to the album as a whole unit is a mesmerizing experience, but I want to highlight my favorite track for Musical Monday. 

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 I have the problem of searching for those sweet wedding videos on Pinterest and one afternoon I stumbled on a particularly beautiful one and I was immediately drawn to the song that was playing the back ground. So I looked it up and was so moved by the lyrics because it made me think of my relationship with Ben. It's called Evening Sun. There's no music video or even a lyric video for it, so the following is from another wedding video where the song is featured. I hope you love it. 

Love,

M

Sunday Fun-Day: mein neues Haar

Today was a super fun Sunday Fun-Day. Ben and I both had the day off so we got to spend the whole afternoon together! We grabbed lunch after church and then went to the mall where I got my hair cut! 

Photo credit to Ben.

Photo credit to Ben. 

Selfie Saturday: Go to bed

After an 11 hour day at work, this is all I've got for Selfie Saturday.

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Love,

M

Fashion Friday: THE dress (and Valentine's Day!)

So, remember how two weeks ago I showed you guys the dress I asked Ben for for my birthday?

BAM.

Sweet Ben bought me the dress for Valentine's Day!!!!! So, obviously, this is what I am featuring this Friday! I'm also featuring our little coffee date because it was great fun! But first! Le dress...

The dress is from Ruche! And my cool new highlights are from JCPenney.  

And the shoes are from Plato's closet (originally from Target).

And now for Ben's and my little Starbucks date! We celebrated Valentine's Day with Wicked (see my last post) but he surprised me today by taking me out for a little coffee and dessert. Aaand the barista complimented me on my dress. Also on Ben for doing a fantastic Valentine's Day job. :) 

Cake pops and coffee!

As you can see,  Ben was stoked about our cake pops.

Love,

M

Thankful Thursday: Yesterday

Wedding Wednesday was cancelled yesterday because it was WICKED WEDNESDAY. My boyfriend and I celebrated Valentine's Day early by going to see Wicked at the Orpheum in downtown Memphis, which leads me to today, Thankful Thursday, and I am thankful for yesterday.

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Ben and I have to work on Valentine's Day so we celebrated early. He took me out to a late lunch/early dinner at Dan McGuinness Pub where we had beer cheese soup, an all manner of beer battered foods topped off with a less than average piece of cheesecake. Afterwards, we went back to his place and got beautified and got to the Orpheum a whole hour early. There was no way we were going to be late to this. 

You guys, I've been listening to the Wicked soundtrack for a little over a year and I feel so so lucky to have been able to see it live. Knowing the music made the experience of watching the whole play that much greater. I was mesmerized by the music, the dancing, the sets, the MONKEYS. I'm not going to lie, I was worried that the cast wouldn't live up to Kristen Chenoweth, Idina, and my #1 favorite Elphaba, Willemijn Verkaik (who sang the part in THREE languages) and that I'd be disappointed with certain parts that I mentally insisted be absolutely perfect. But let me tell you, this company exceeded my expectations. I'm not saying they were better than the original cast or Verkaik, but each player's interpretation of their role was unique and inspiring. 

I could go on for pages and pages about how witty, hilarious, deep, heartbreaking, and triumphant the whole thing was. I truly wish I could have gotten some pictures of the production, but at the same time I'm glad I could sit back and take the whole thing in uninterrupted. 

All in all, I'm bloody thankful for yesterday and getting to share it with Ben. 

This was taken by the people who sat with us after the second act. It's a good thing it was taken on my crappy phone for my eyes were puffy and red after undergoing the emotional roller coaster that was Defying Gravity.  

Tribute Tuesday: Shirley Temple

I missed Musical Monday yesterday due to various schooling and workplace engagements. My apologies.

I was going to post a poem for what is usually Tidbit Tuesday, but I've got to pay tribute to a recently late great who had a profound impact on me as a child.

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I loved watching Shirley Temple movies when I was a kid. I loved watching her dance and sing and act. She was such a little spitfire, but in the most adorable way imaginable. One of my fondest childhood memories is watching Heidi with Emily - we must have watched it fifty times. 

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I don't know much about Shirley Temple's political activism apart from the bits I've read from the articles posted today, but I'll always remember her as the little girl with the shiny curls and furiously fast feet. What a legend.

Sunday Fun-Day: This is how we get ants...

In honor of Valentine's week and the fact that you're probably sick of seeing all the gushy Cupid stuff...

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Selfie Saturday: Do something different!

If you're like me, you often find yourself in a monotonous rut as you go about your daily routine. You seem to know exactly how the day is going to go, what you're going to do, and how it will make you feel. I get stuck in my ways, do my boring routine, and complain about it later. This semester, I've been making a concerted effort to shake things up a little, so my advice for today's Selfie Saturday is...

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The only way to get out of a rut is to do something different! Look at your daily life. What do you do? What do you wish you didn't do? What do you wish you could do more of? You may not be able to eliminate the unpleasant tasks, but you can definitely make a little time to try new stuff! Here are ten awesome ideas to get your creative juices flowing.

1. Get off Facebook. Seriously. Turn off the internet for a while. You'll be amazed at how many opportunities for new fun you'll find. 

2. Buy a new book and read it!

3. Go to the supermarket and buy a vegetable or fruit you've never tried. 

4. Rearrange the furniture in your bedroom or office.

5. Replace the old photos in your frames with new ones. And if you don't have any new pictures, well there's something else to do!

6. Buy a board game you've never played and ask a friend to join you!

7. Go to the park with the new book you've bought and find a comfy spot to read outside. If you have writing tendencies (or even if you don't) bring a journal and pencil because you never know when the mood to pen the next great piece of literature will hit. 

8. Find a craft project that appeals to you. Then, go to a craft store and make it happen. It can be as complicated or as uncomplicated as you want. 

9. Go to a pet store and play with some cats. 

10. Once you've finished writing the next great piece of literature at the park, go find a swingset and do some flying. 

Now that you have a whole list of things that will shake up your boring routine, get off this blog and go do something different! 

Love,

M

Fashion Friday: Kimbra

 Today on Fashion Friday, I want to highlight an artist who I think has a really original sense of style. I'm talking about Kimbra Lee Johnson who goes by just Kimbra. 

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Most of you know her as that chick who sang with Gotye, but she has a phenomenal sound and style on her own. 

It's really hard to talk about anything other than the music, but I absolutely love her fashion choices. She has this childlike look of poofy skirts and zany shoes, but it comes off looking insanely sexy at the same time. Take a look. 

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Thankful Thursday: Schnee

Yesterday, I didn't get to blogging for Wedding Wednesday because I was overwhelmed with the readings and assignments for my classes. I do apologize, and hope that this will not be a thing. :) 

Moving on! 

It is absolutely freezing today, which isn't new, but this afternoon it started snowing. 

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I admit, that Memphis doesn't look this pretty right now, but snow is snow!

It's not sticking or anything, but as I walked from one building to the next I was reminded of Springfield, Ohio, where I spent six years of my childhood and where there was snow every Christmas. I recall one year when we had over two feet of snow and were shut in our house because of it. That was grand. When I moved back to Texas, I dearly missed the snow but as I grew more happy to be home, I forgot about it, save for the scant awareness of its absence around December. 

But today, it is snowing and I am thankful because it takes me back to a small part of my childhood that I love. It's also quite an inspirational sight for my writer eyes. This post is short because I have other writing to attend to. :) 

Stay warm and take a second to appreciate whatever the snow means to you, if you happen to be lucky enough to be where it is. 

Love,

M

Tidbit Tuesday: Polar Bird

Well, today is Tidbit Tuesday and I think I'll shake things up a little by posting a little poem I wrote.

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I'm in a poetry writing class this semester. I've never written poetry so the class and its concepts are all brand new territory for me as a writer. This poem was for a free-write assignment and it legitimately started out as a poem about a bird, but as I delved into the creating process, my mind took me down a Dr. Suess-ian path and this is what came out. It's a first, un-revised draft and probably not very good to a learned poet's ears. But it's what I've got for now. :) 

Polar Bird

One afternoon, I went to sleep and dreamed about a bird

She was unlike any bird I had ever seen

Instead of having wings to preen

She had fur just like a polar bear

Her beak wasn't there

It was like a sloppy wet nose

Her nest was where it snows

Paws instead of wings

She roared and did not sing

This puzzled me indeed, but soon I inferred

From all that I'd observed

That she was a polar bear

And not a bird

Love, M

Musical Monday: If I Wanted Someone

Today is a Dawes kinda day.

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Dawes is one of my favorite bands and I was first exposed to them at the Bristol, VA Gentlemen of the Road Stopover Tour (put on by my #1 favorite band, Mumford and Sons) in August of 2012. They have this down-home Southern vibe, but a little bit harder and rock-y-er (Not a word? I just made it one.). The lyrics are innovative, fun, and deeply moving which makes them an even bigger deal to me, as I listen more for the words than anything else.

 Anyways, I was listening to them this morning and really digging the second track of their Nothing is Wrong  album. It's called If I Wanted Someone and it's bloody good. Give it a listen!

Love, 

M 

Sunday Fun-Day: Les Laughs

I think for today's Sunday Fun-Day a little Les Mis humor is in order.

Enjoy.

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Selfie Saturday: What to do when you lose

We've all had that day. You know, that day when absolutely nothing has gone right and it feels as though the fates have you on their "kick this person in the behind" list. The bread got burnt, the report was only half-finished, the toilet is backed up and you really have to go but you're running late to wherever it is you need to be, so you hold it the whole way there. You feel like you've put your best foot forward, but despite all of your hard work, the day goes awry and there's nothing you can really do about it. 

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It's easy to look back and lecture yourself for not thinking of that one thing you could have done to make the day run more smoothly or that thing you could have said to set that situation right. Playing the blame game is a knee jerk reaction to a crappy day. But let's be real, doing either of those things doesn't make you feel any better. 

I don't have any magical fixes for a bad day, but here are three tips to employ when you've lost the game that was your day. 

1. Accept the fact that you had a bad day without dwelling on it

We all know that person who can't seem to stop talking about what an awful day they've had. If one thing has gone wrong or upset them, you're going to know about it. We've all done it but I'm willing to bet a large amount of money on the fact that it's never made anyone feel better or improved their day. So let's just own the fact that we've had a crap day and move on. 

2. Don't play the blame game.

Seriously. Just don't do it. Pointing fingers and getting huffy puffy only gets you more riled up and it makes the people around you miserable. People have bad days and sometimes their trouble was caused by other people. It happens. Don't let it make you a bitter, nasty person. 

3. Do something that you know will make you feel better.

Listen to one of your favorite albums, write the proverbial angry letter, drink a beer (or chocolate milk if you're under 21 like me). Do something that you know for sure will take the edge off the crappy of your day. Take a load off, do something for you, and get some good sleep. 

Because tomorrow's going to be awesome. 

Just like you. 

:D